Welcome to Lost and Found, where Things Come to Die

You have stumbled upon the most unorganized, utterly disheveled, and completely hopeless repository of lost items in the multiverse. Here's where things go to disappear without so much as a farewell note.

Recent Arrivals:

• Last week's garbage
• This week's lost socks

Special Features:

• Time Machine: Because who needs a functioning one when you can just throw it away?
• Random Portal: For when you want to teleport your worries away

About Us (or rather, About the Us)